Reframing Your Thinking: A Real Life Practical Example

You Cannot Control the Commute. You Can Control the Experience

Some of our strongest emotions begin as thoughts and overthinking can sometimes lead to them.  You’re not alone in those thoughts which is why I created Fog of Mind to support mental health for men over 40.

Not always the helpful kind, either.

A single sentence in your head can turn into a full-body mood. Irritation. Dread. That heavy, sinking feeling that says, here we go again. And the frustrating part is that it often happens before anything has actually happened.

That is why learning to “reprogram” your thinking, or at least to interrupt the default settings, is one of the most valuable everyday tools you can build. Not for a perfect life, but for a lighter one.

It is not therapy. It is not pretending everything is fine. It is the practical skill of noticing what your mind is doing, then choosing a better option.

A quote worth keeping in your pocket

Sue Knight puts it simply in NLP at Work:

You can change your experience of this journey to make it better or worse by experimenting with your thinking about it.
Knight, Sue. NLP at Work: The Difference that Makes the Difference. Kindle Edition.

I have often spoken about reframing how you experience your commute. It is one of the simplest places to practise because the situation is familiar, repetitive, and (most of the time) mildly annoying.

And you can see it in real time.

Stand on a platform or sit in a carriage and you will notice the whole spectrum.

Some people look sad, as if the day has already beaten them to it. Others are reading books, properly absorbed. Some are listening to something on Audible or a podcast. I notice others scrolling through social media, thumb moving, eyes glazed. Everyone is in the same tin can on the same track, yet they are having completely different mornings.

That is the point.

The control you think you do not have

Most commuting frustration comes from trying to control what is uncontrollable.

• Traffic
• delayed trains
• weather that cannot make its mind up
• crowds
• cancelled services
• someone loudly watching videos without headphones

The more you mentally argue with reality, the worse it feels.

You cannot talk a train into arriving faster. You cannot shame a storm into stopping. You cannot will away roadworks.

When your brain is stuck in this should not be happening, it creates stress on top of the inconvenience. This is a nother example of Fog of Mind.

The control you always have

Here is the quiet win.

You are in control of how you behave. You are in control of what you are wearing and what you are thinking.

You do not have to love the commute. You do not even have to enjoy it. But you can choose how you meet it.

You can control:

• the story you tell yourself about the delay
• what you feed your mind during the journey
• whether you arrive already tense, or at least steadier than before
• your posture and breathing (yes, it matters more than we admit)
• how you respond to other people’s stress

That last one is underrated.

Stress is contagious. Calm can be too.

The commuting “reframe” that actually works

When people hear “reframe,” they sometimes think it means forcing yourself to be cheerful.

It does not.

A good reframe is believable. It gives you options.

Try one of these:

• From: “I am wasting my life on this train.”
  To: “This is a built-in buffer. I can use it to reset my head before work or home.”
• From: “This delay has ruined my morning.”
  To: “This delay is annoying. I can still choose what happens in the next 20 minutes.”
• From: “Everyone is making this worse.”
  To: “Other people are stressed. I do not have to join in.”

Small shift. Big difference.

A quick “thought reprogramming” exercise for real life

Next time you are commuting, try this in under a minute.

Notice the thought

Name it plainly:
“I am catastrophising.”
“I am mind-reading.”
“I am predicting the worst.”
“I am spiralling.”

Labelling creates space.

Ask one better question

Instead of “Why does this always happen to me?” try:

• “What is one useful thing I can do with this time?”
• “What do I want to feel when I arrive?”
• “What is the kindest, most realistic thought available right now?”

Make one deliberate choice

This is where the change becomes physical:

• open a book
• put on a podcast that steadies you
• listen to music that changes your state
• stop scrolling and look out of the window for five minutes
• write a short note: “Three things I can do today that will make life easier.”

One choice is enough. You are building a habit, not a personality transplant.

A gentle warning about the Social Media scroll

I am not anti social media. But scrolling is often not a break.

It can quietly load your mind with comparison, outrage, noise, and dopamine spikes, then you wonder why you arrive at work feeling wired and tired.

If you scroll, do it deliberately. Not automatically.

Ask: “Is this helping my headspace, or stealing it?”

The goal is not control. It is agency.

You do not control the external factors of traffic, delayed trains, and inclement weather. That is just life in the UK.

But you do control the levers that shape your experience.

That is what reprogramming really means in everyday terms. Not becoming someone else. Just choosing a better setting.

And if today feels heavy, start small. Choose one thought to challenge. Choose one thing to feed your mind that is kinder than the default.

That is headspace.

Help someone find headspace. Share this.